Saturday, January 31, 2009

Theres No Crying in Boot Camp

Its Saturday... last day before Tyson leaves for boot camp. I am a pile of raw nerves! I just keep telling myself that people do this every day, and 6 months is no time at all. Tyson and I are taking turns trying to convince each other.

The kids seem to be blissfully unaware, but I'm expecting it to set in around Wednesday and have a pretty long adjustment period of life without Dad on a M-F basis. We had a talk with them awhile back to let them know that Ty is going away to a special school that will teach him how to be the best police man ever, and of course took time to explain what an important job it is to have hero's like daddy helping people every day. Dawson seemed to understand the arrangement pretty well, and even asked if they had circle time at this special school. By this time next week, I am SURE Tyson will be wishing for circle time and a story before nap time!

Ty shaved his goatee off yesterday, it is a strange sight for a wife to see! I already feel like I am married to a different man, his facial hair is so much a part of his personality to me. He definitely looks 'changed,' and I'm not the only one who thinks so. When Dawson had a moment alone with Ty, he piped up, "Dad, you look like a boy now." Tyson was a little puzzled by his observation, and asked what exactly he meant by that. "Well, before with your beard you looked like a man, but now you look like a boy-like me!"

The thought of Dawson without his Dad for 6 months is by far the most heartbreaking part of this arrangement for me. I know it will be tough without him on all of us, but Dawson... oi. Ty's shoes could never be filled to him, he is already a hero to our son (all of us really, but particularly to him). I just keep thinking of how much more pride he will have on the other end of this. I know he can handle it... but I wish he didn't have to.

I was having a weak moment yesterday on the couch as we sat watching cartoons with the kids and I started to get emotional. Dawson immediately noticed, and asked why I was sad. I told him I was thinking about how much I'm going to miss having Daddy around, and he said "Mom, don't cry! Do you want me to sing you a song?"

Of course I wanted him to sing to me... and so he started in his sweet little toddler soprano voice... to a tune I've never heard before I'm assuming he imagined up just for me...

"Don't throw a fit... Mommy, DON'T throw a fit! Don't throw a fit, Mommy, we don't throw fits..."

The tears immediately started to pour faster thru my uncontrolled laughter, which I'm thinking confused him even more, because he suddenly looked even more concerned and then I think he realized maybe he had hurt my feelings with his heartfelt lyrical ingenuity.

"OH! Um... never mind. I didn't mean to sing that song, Mom. How about THIS one?..." And then he moved on to "Rock a Bye, Baby" followed by "Baby Mine."

Alright, Dawson, I get the hint. You think Im being a wuss! Guess its time to put on my big girl panties and stop moping around.

For come Monday morning at 0700, the McDermott family officially starts boot camp.


Rachel said...

Be strong Beth...we are here for you.

Kayla said...

Anything you need we are all here! This just means we have to start planning some girls movie nights in at your house! We love you guys!

liz oelker said...

You've got this! It's ok to be a wuss. 6 months is SO short but it is SO long at the same time. We will all be thinking and praying for your whole family especially that it goes by with as little discomfort as possible. and yes, on the other end it will all be worth it. All the best!

Steph said...

I'm so sorry:( But, now you'll treasure those weekends together even more! I know I've been super flake lately, but I'll get it together again soon and if you ever need any company, lemme know:)

Anonymous said...

Big girl pantie time is right. I know how your feeling and I know its a sruggle but you have amazing family and friends to be there for you. Maybe a splash date is neccessary right about now!!! XOXO, Lynn