Wednesday, May 28, 2008

OK, so we have a lot going on the next few days...

Chelsea (my best friend)'s brother and his wife and their 2 kids are staying with us for a few nights while they are in town for a wedding. I know... I love chaos, what can I say?! I'm actually REALLY looking forward to it. I have had a mad 'girl crush' on Tiffany (the wife) for a long time, I cant wait to start some fires with her. We are also bridesmaids together in Chelsea's wedding this winter, so it will be fun to dream and scheme there too.

I'm sure to have some good pics to follow...

Speaking of girl crushes... um.

I keep thinking about blogging this, and then chickening out. But then I remembered that I am a Mom, and I have no pride or dignity left of my own anymore so I might as well out with it.

So... I know Ive blogged about my crazy dreams before. Sometimes I know they are almost premonitions, but other times I just think they mean something subtle whether I know what it is or not.

I think what I'm about to say is the latter of the 2.

I keep having lesbian dreams about CAMERON DIAZ!!!

What the heck!?

I don't even think shes that hot!

Alright, fine. She's hot.

But c'mon...I mean... they're ALL beautiful, those Hollywood A-listers. I'm just saying if I were GOING to choose to go there... she wouldn't be my top pick. Weird. Anyways. Cameron Diaz?

The first dream I remember having was a long time ago, possibly before I had kids... Ive had another one after that and 2 more within the last couple months! They aren't necessarily dirty in their own context. Other than the fact that we are definitely a couple, living our lives together. Strange, strange, strange. And its always Cameron. I told my Mom its going to be really weird if I ever meet her in real life. Probably more for me than her...

I'm GUESSING that this is about something different than being a lesbian. I'm not ready to switch teams for reals anytime soon. Not yet, anyways... ;)

I think its possible that its about female companionship, maybe?

For as long as I can remember, my Mom's advice to any woe's or heartaches pertaining to men or marriage has been "next time around, marry a woman!" I repeat it at the end of any conversation involving things that most men can never understand. Like how we like our hair played with, and why its important to take off the wedding ring and put your heart and soul into that foot massage even tho the lotion might feel slimy and weird.

Women understand each other. Most women. Even if we don't relate to that particular interest or lifestyle or situation, we empathize.

I have always had good groups of girlfriends. In high school, there were 5 of us. I still talk to all of them. Not regularly, but we call each other for major life events and show up to offer support if ever possible.

In Missouri, I met Sylvia who was the fellow child bride across the hall in the apartment Tyson and I shared the first year of married life. I still think I owe the foundation of the first year of married life to her. I was 1500 miles from home, and rarely felt lonely because of her. She and Matt have been married almost exactly 1 year longer (she is one year older than me). Having them around made marital glitches and domestic hiccups feel normal instead of possible causes for psychological meltdown. We haven't been neighbors for more than 5 years now, but even across the miles I still borrow her advise on motherhood and family life and everything in between constantly.

In Santa Barbara, I worked with a group of fabulous women. They were the first people I met who were different than me but I could be comfortable with. We all had very different roots, politics, beliefs. I think our common thread was our ambition and work ethic at first... but as the days and weeks and months and eventually years went by, we really depended on each other in a lot of ways in and out of work. We have all moved on since then, only one remains at our home base. But we get together at least once a year, and I always feel like no time has passed at all.

When we moved back 'home' after Dawson was born... it didn't feel like home anymore. Almost nobody of the past (aside from our families) lived in the area anymore, and we had a baby which made us busy. We spent time with our families, and my Sister-in-law who is one of my favorite people ever lived with us for a year... but aside from her I was really friend-naked for the first time ever! It takes a lot of time to reconnect sometimes.

Then another baby.

Then a night job.

Now a daycare.

We've been back in the area for 3 years now... its been busy and taken awhile, but you know, I FINALLY feel like I found a group of girls to be part of again. Some of these girls are neighbors, some old friends that have since joined in motherhood and strung a common thread. Some are acquaintances dating back to high school that have just popped back up out of nowhere!

But suddenly... I feel RICH.

Rich in friendship and love and warmth.

Could this be the lesbian symbolism??

Guess that doesn't really explain the Cameron Diaz part but...

Oh well. Maybe some questions are better left unanswered.


Steph said...

Okaaaaaayyyyy.... the Cameron thing never ceases to crack me up.

Everyday since Sunday I have been logging on to see pics of your new kitchen. And everyday you continue to disappoint.

Put out already, you for Cam, can't you shar some pic love with me?

Steph said...

Okaaaaaayyyyy.... the Cameron thing never ceases to crack me up.

Everyday since Sunday I have been logging on to see pics of your new kitchen. And everyday you continue to disappoint.

Put out already, you do for Cam, can't you share some pic love with me?