Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Blog Therapy.

I'm having a 'Mama said thered be days like this' kind of week, and THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS!, its ONLY TUESDAY!

Highlights include (but are NOT limited to):

A Monday morning that began with peed sheets AND poop in the bathtub (not mine, just a kid I know), and actually managed to get worse from there.

A Tuesday morning that started off with a great attitude and an attempt to be productive in doing some laundry at 5:45am. When I went to collect my warm and fresh towels, my hand met a petrified lizard carcass that had somehow made it thru the wash AND dry cycle with my 'clean' towels that now needed to be rewashed. Did I mention how I touched DEAD LIZARD?!?!? All before my morning coffee!?!?!?!?!? Nobody deserves that.

Work stress on multiple levels.

Family stress on multiple levels.

My darling children, who FOR THE LIFE OF THEM, cant seem to process simple instructions even when repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over AND OVER TIMES INFINITY.

A plague of flies that has descended upon our land, that is SO horrific that we can't so much as open the front door a tiny crack without 15 dozen of the little beasts zooming in and immediately landing and puking their feces or whatever atrocity it is that they were created to do (why, God?) upon every available surface of our entire house. Dinner, anyone?

Side note: Do you think the school automatically calls CPS if you send your kid in last nights PJ's because they didn't hear you to ask them to get dressed ANY of the fifteen times you said it (despite the fact that you took the time to provide them with clean laundry that you washed, folded, put away, then LAID OUT for them, and all they had to do was put it on...), or if you send them without a snack (because they didn't bring you their lunchbox with yesterdays rotting delight still inside any of the bajillion times you sweetly requested), or if they don't have their homework (even after you took the time to sit with them, read to them, review it with them, sign off on it for them, and put it in a folder NEXT TO their backpack but they chose to ignore your repeated reminders to gather their things and leave them ready to go by the front door). I think there needs to be a PARENT protective services, that is a safe place for parents to go and work thru their child inflicted pain.

My poor husband, who is coming off a 6 day work week (as usual), in which he was not home before 6:30 ONE SINGLE DAY, meaning he worked 12 hour days 6 days in a row. My kids asked the UPS man to play catch with them last night. Ok, that's a lie. But they really do miss their father.

Loading 5 children into 'the ark,' buckling each of them in with tender loving care and hauling all the appropriately packed luggage for their day at school inside only to hop in the freezing cold front seat and turning the key to find (yippeeeee!) a dead car battery as we were already running behind schedule...

And... finally... my husband, in attempting to come to my rescue for the dead battery... who rushed home to jump the car, but forgot to let me know in the process that HE LEFT THE CAR RUNNING so the battery could recharge again.
Yah. It ran out of gas in the driveway.
The good news is... the form that my nervous breakdown took on yesterday was less hostile on our family morale. I could NOT stop laughing (HA!!). It was just... hysterical. I mean, HOW can THAT many lame things happen to ONE person in such a sequence? How does such karma attack a poor mom just tryin to do her best with what she has? Did I accidently walk past a bell ringer without putting a dollar in the bucket? Did I somehow run over a litter of kittens unknowingly? I just.dont.understand. how the horrors of the universe have followed me so closely over the last several hours... but mark my words, I am bound and determined to shake them tomorrow.

Otherwise, Im moving to Australia with Alexander.


Rachel said...

Ahhh, hang in there friend!

Hammie Fam said...

The GOOD news of her day is that she got to spend the evening driking wine and looking at jewels and WINNING FREE JEWELS with great friends.

Beatrice Blount said...

oh baby...speechless. except I'm LOVING the idea about parent protective services. explore that in a future blog before I steal it.