That's when I realized she had left me for good. No explanation, no note. She just plain crapped out on me, that bitch.
I feel dumped, abandoned, alone. I feel the urge to binge eat at the loss, and never, EVER exercise again because I simply can NOT go on without her. I fear I may become the size of a whale by the end of the week if I don't replace her (straight away!). But after a companionship like we had, it feels so wrong to find someone new, just like that.
Would that make me an unfaithful monster just like she turned out to be?
Miss Patty taught me so much about life, and loving myself, and the open road. She gave me hope and pushed me forward, and offered solace and quiet from the voices that scream inside my head during the majority of the day in her absence.
Though it is early on in this painful process of grief, I know that she was my first true love and no matter how hurt or angry or lonely I may feel in dark journey ahead without her, the music she put into my heart will always be with me.
I will try to be strong without her, I know its what she would want. Its like she so often said to me... "That that that that that which don't kill me/ Will only make me stronger/ I've been waitin' all night, girl/ That's how long I've been on ya..."
So, I guess this is it. What more can I say, life is hard and loss occurs when you least expect it. I guess its just another reminder to keep a song in your heart and never take the ones you love for granted.
Goodnight, Miss Patty. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
Faithful companion, worthy friend
Spring, 2005- September 6, 2008