I said it.
I haven't blogged about it yet.
I've told 'my people,' and talked about it probably a lot to the inner circle. Sorry if you're tired of hearing about it... I'm not growing new human life, or discovering the cure for cancer in my awe inspiring career, so I don't have much else to talk about.
There's been this little voice of doubt in my head since I committed. Maybe its bigger than little. Maybe its more of a screaming voice.
I didn't know if I could do it.
But I know it now.
I can do this.
I have a posse. Or they have me. We have each other.
They are crazy, and inspiring, and way more motivated than I would ever be alone. I've heard the expression 'iron sharpens iron...' but in my case, it feels more like they are the iron and I am the play dough.
Who would have ever thought play dough could be sharpened?
But I am becoming the sharpest play dough I've ever seen. Ha.
26 miles is a lot of miles. Oh, and then there's that little ".2" on the end, just to make sure you're real good and dead.
So far, the furthest I've run is 16 miles. Thats ten short of what I need to be able to do in just six little weeks. But I can feel my body changing. I can feel it getting easier. I can feel my dreams getting bigger, and the finish line, or a whole new start line, is getting closer.
I'm not the fastest, or the strongest, or anything motivational like that. I'm not interested in those things for now, really. I don't know that I ever will be.
But I can honestly say that right now, I am at my personal best.
Its a psychological thing, I think. It makes me feel like a more organized, capable, intelligent person. It makes me feel like anything is possible if I want it to be, and that maybe the best is yet to come. I have now proven to my biggest critic- myself- that I can get up early 3 or 4 mornings a week, in the rain, in the dark... sometimes in the rainy dark... and do whatever is required for me to be able to put an X on my training schedule for the day. And not come home till its done. Its a sense of daily accomplishment that gives a whole new meaning to my life.
It hasn't been easy. Between the three of us, there have been sprains, swelling, blistering, chaffing, bleeding, tears. There are lots of mornings when we don't feel like doing it. But these girls are committed. And they've drug me into it... and made me believe it.
So I'm running a marathon. With my girls, and my little brother on his 21st birthday.
And now I know I can do it. So I'm not afraid to blog it.
And if anyone feels compelled to vacation in lovely San Diego on or around June 6th... feel free to meet us (Oh, and about 40 thousand other people) for a party at the finish line.